


before the world catches up

by miri8luh



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abuse, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Character Death, Child Abuse, Cuddles, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, No Name (snk), Past Character Death, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Triggers, hospital mentions, im overtagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:10:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miri8luh/pseuds/miri8luh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren Jaeger lives in a dysfunctional family. After a tragedy strikes the household, his mother deteriorates and his father becomes his greatest fear.<br/>The only thing keeping Eren going is his ever-nearing 18th birthday, his supportive boyfriend Jean and his mother.<br/>But when push comes to shove, will that be enough to keep him afloat in the dangerous ocean that his life has become?</p><p>[for a tumblr prompt on jearen and hospitals]</p>
            </blockquote>





	before the world catches up

**Author's Note:**

> this is extremely triggering if you're triggered by mental illness and things of that sort. i am, and it was very hard to write. keep that in mind if you want to read. 
> 
> i recommend listening to collar full by panic! at the disco while reading this.

No, he wasn’t ok. Dad had promised no more. He’d promised, told Eren that he wouldn’t mention it anymore. He’d sworn, sworn on Mikasa even. 

But what was Eren’s father if not a liar who really did deserve the worst father of the year award? Nothing. Because clearly, that was the only thing he could ever and would ever be. 

His mother sat there, muttering quietly at the television, as she seemed to always do these days. He was 99% certain that she was completely unaware of anything being said on the show, because last time he checked she did not speak Mandarin. Or any form of Chinese. Or any language other than English and German. 

 

And of course, she said nothing. Said nothing as Eren shouted at his father, tears streaming down his face. Said nothing as his face hardened, and he stormed off to his room, as Grisha shouted at his son’s back. And still, nothing when he said, oh so calmly to Eren, “you’re going to get sent back to the hospital.”

Eren’s entire figure stiffened, and he forcibly and as quickly as his robotic movements would allow him, continued the walk to his room. He pressed his back against the door, feeling the sobs fill him, but not letting them escape. He had to be strong. 

Tightening the scarf around his neck, the scarf that he had given his sister on the day she had become a Jaeger, the scarf that he had yanked off her neck when they found her on the bathroom floor blood pooling around her, he took a deep breath and went to gather a few things. His laptop, charger, phone and charger, framed picture of him and a smiling Mikasa (a very rare sight indeed). He grabbed Jean’s hoodie with the unicorn on it (which he still called “too gay to be real), and shoved it on, before stuffing his most important possessions into a green bag decorated with a wing-esque decal. 

 

He wasn’t going back. Eren was broken, scarred for life from when they sent him away after Mikasa died. He didn’t belong there, he kept telling him. They called him depressed, unstable. He countered with the fact that he was grieving over his dead sister. But his father was a successful psychiatrist, and if he wanted Eren Jaeger hidden away in a mental hospital, then Grisha would get just that.

 

He got out, went back to Trost High, and started counting down to his eighteenth birthday. He started at a year and a half back; he now had two days left. He started practically living at his best friend Jean’s house. His mother took over the role of Eren’s mother, as she slowly descended into incoherence. Jean and Eren started dating, and Jean’s mom reacted with a bright smile, and Jean shooed her away with a blush. Eren’s dad found out and beat him unconscious. Eren didn’t come home for a week.

Rubbing his cheek where a bruise was already forming from one of his father’s punches, Eren finished packing up his possessions, and grabbed his keys. He yanked off the “No Name” keychain, being careful not to damage any part of it. He wouldn’t go anywhere without memorabilia of his favorite band, and certainly not the autographed-by-Levi keychain he had fought so hard to obtain. 

The rest of the keys, he shoved under some papers. Then, on a second though, yanked open the window and unceremoniously dumped them out of it, as if they were a pesky spider trying to harm him (not that he would know-Jean killed the spiders). 

He yanked open the door, and began to quietly sneak over to the main door of the apartment. He almost made it, but was ten feet away when his father caught sight of him. 

“If you leave, I’m calling the police, and they’ll lock you up. And you’ll never get out.” 

 

Eren tensed, before trying to rationalize that he would be 18 in two days. He felt the panic rising in his system, and knew in that moment that even two days would kill him. With that, he bolted for the door, slamming it behind him, as Grisha shouted for him to come back. Eren took off into a sprint, and didn’t stop until he reached the train station. He sent a quick text to his boyfriend, saying “im coming over now,” and tore down the stairs into the subway. 

He swiped his metro card, and got onto the familiar train to Jean’s stop. He felt the panic rising in him as he sat on the hard, blue seat, and forced himself to keep his breathing steady. A few times, he had to bite his hand to keep the sobs wracking his body from choking out, but retained a relative state of composed calm. 

 

The next thing Eren knew, the doors were opening to Jean’s familiar stop, and he was rushing out of the train, and sprinting up the stairs, and down the two blocks to the Kirschtein house. 

Eren ran up the stairs, and only knocked once, before the door was opening and Jean was pulling him inside and pulling him close and they were kissing and everything felt right in the world. For a split second, Eren forgot his father’s threats, forgot the bruises blossoming all over his malnourished body, and lost himself. Lost himself in Jean’s soft lips that tasted of those chapstick eggs he liked too much, lost himself in the feeling of his boyfriend’s hands burying themselves in his brown hair. Lost himself in how his grip tightened on the back of Jean’s shirt and his hands dug into him, as if afraid that he would leave if he tightened his grip in the slightest. 

 

But then they had to break apart for air, and it all came crashing down on Eren again, and suddenly there were tears in his eyes and he was pulling down the long sleeves of the hoodie he took from his boyfriend over his scarred arms, and all Jean could do was pull him tight, shushing him and stroking his hair. Mrs. Kirschtein came rushing in and, seeing the state of Eren, told the boys to head upstairs, and that Eren could talk when he wanted but she knew Jean was the one who would be the most help to him. She mentioned that she would be bringing up some tea shortly, and Jean grabbed Eren’s hand and wordlessly pulled him up the stairs to his room. 

He sat Eren down on his bed, and went to sit down next to him, when Eren yanked him down to lay with him. He pulled them under the familiar covers of Jean’s bed, and breathed in the unique smell of his boyfriend. Eren buried his face in his chest, and reached up to pat Jean’s two-toned hair, before kissing him quickly on the lips. 

 

“I’ll be 18 in two days let me stay until then I’ll leave after that I promise, Jean, I just can’t go back I can’t do it I won’t do-”

Jean cut him off with a soft kiss, so much unlike the needy, rough ones he usually gave. Eren whimpered slightly, blushing a bit, when Jean broke away.

“As if I’d let you go. I’ll be 18 in a month, we’ll be at college together next year. And you’re staying here until we get situated there. Together.”

Eren’s eyes widened slightly, glazing over a bit with tears, and quickly kissed his boyfriend, softly and sweetly.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Eren. We’ll get through this. I love you and we’ll get through this. Even if it means suffering through a few months of Mom’s omelets.”

Eren laughed slightly through the tears that finally spilled over, blushing as Jean kissed them away. 

“I love you too. And I’ll take those omelets any day over going back.”

Jean wordlessly pulled him to his chest, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, and pulling him as close as possible. He tangled their legs together, kissed the top of Eren’s head, and quietly turned off the lamp on his nightstand. 

 

“Good night, Jean,” said Eren, nuzzling into his chest.

“Good night, Eren. Sleep well,” he replied, closing his eyes as he felt Eren relax in his arms, praying that he would dream of something happy and someplace safe.

**Author's Note:**

> title is taken from collar full by panic! at the disco  
> written for a prompt on tumblr  
> my tumblr is [annie-leonhardt](http://annie-leonhardt.tumblr.com/)


End file.
